And Baby Makes
by Eirian
Summary: It's a Buffy/Spike story. Read the title, you'll get it. Set after 'Older and Far Away'. FINALLY!! Ch. 14 is UP!
1. Asleep On Her Feet

Willow: "And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend."  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters portrayed or mentioned here, they all belong ultimately to Joss Whedon. I do, however, own this particular storyline and the portrayals of the characters //in this story//.  
  
Spoilers: Mild spoilers for all six seasons up until the episode 'Older and Far Away', vague spoilers for most of the sixth season (you need to know the gist of what's going on) and specifically the sixth season episodes 'Gone' and 'Older and Far Away' (though maybe not in this first installment).  
  
Note: The first two 'installments' of this are less than a page long, but the entire story isn't like that. Whenever I was finished with a scene, I just cut it off and started another scene, which is why the lengths vary so much.  
  
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Buffy let out a tremendous yawn, barely covering her mouth in time to be polite. Willow, who had been eating across the table from her, looked up with raised eyebrows. "You know, that's the third time you've given the mega-yawn. You okay?"  
  
Buffy shrugged. "I'm just tired, that's all. Patrol's been really long lately, I guess I haven't been getting enough sleep." She - purposely - neglected to mention that after patrol, she was taking another hour or so to see Spike and let him help her 'unwind'. She really should stop doing that. However, after speaking with Tara ((read 'breakdown')), she'd sat down and done what she should have done at the very beginning of this horrendous mess. She cleared her mind and looked at the situation rationally and impartially. And she realized something. Other than Spike being a selfish bastard, which she'd already known, she'd realized that ((because of Spike)), she'd been making herself much too tense. Now, she didn't love Spike ((please)), but she did need him. He was the only one who hadn't pushed her into acting 'normal' when she was brought back - he'd let her be whoever she wanted, and hadn't crowded her, yet still looked after her. He hadn't judged her when she told him she'd been at peace. He was the only one to really believe her when she said someone was doing something to her ((which they'd later found out was the Trio of Nerds)). He had been there for her when she needed it, and so she had unconsciously begun to depend on him. After . . . that night in the abandoned house, he'd started pushing her more . . . but after thinking on it, she understood that it was because he realized the power he actually did have over her. He hadn't backed down when she'd threatened him because of that, either. He knew as well as she did that she could never hurt him ((aside from the 'love taps' they gave each other nightly)).  
  
"Well, you know . . . couldn't you get Spike to take a patrol every now and then?" Willow asked tentatively - she'd been doing that lately, never really saying anything so much as asking. It was getting on Buffy's nerves, all this walking on eggshells with everyone. Willow didn't want to hurt Buffy's feelings, Buffy didn't want to hurt Willow's feelings, Dawn was throwing a perpetual temper tantrum with both of them, so Willow tried to stay out of Dawn's way, and Buffy was trying to be all sweet and supportive with her while still being the adult. And on top of all the tightrope walks she was doing between all her friends, she was trying to hide what she was doing with Spike, who was being a real bastard about it, always giving vague hints that only she picked up on. It was all accumulating to really get on her nerves.  
  
Right now, she just shrugged again. "I don't know . . . I don't really want to ask for too much from him, what with . . . everything. But I think I will see if he can take it tonight." She saw Willow nod, and picked up her plate of half-eaten lunch and headed to the sink. She closed her eyes for a moment to try and rid herself of her tiredness . . .  
  
"Buffy!" Willow cried, rushing to her friend as she swayed on her feet. Buffy's eyes snapped open and she stared at Willow uncomprehendingly. Willow bit her lip. "You . . . I thought you were gonna faint." Buffy frowned and shook her head. "Why would you think that?"  
  
Willow shrugged and pointed at the floor by Buffy's feet. As she turned to look, Willow said, "You dropped it, then started to sway on your feet." Now, Buffy frowned at the floor. Where her plate of food had fallen and shattered by her feet. "I'm . . . gonna go take a nap. Could you get me up in about an hour? Good," Buffy said, not actually waiting for Willow to agree. She turned and headed for the stairs, not really caring that she'd left Willow to clean up her mess. What the hell was wrong with her? 


	2. So Easy

Disclaimer: See First Installment.  
  
It had been so easy. Incredibly easy. Just walk in - she did take a little time to compare products - grab what she thought would be best for her purposes, get in line, pay the clerk for it, and leave. She got home ten minutes later. A minute after that, she sat on her bed, staring at her hands and hearing the ticking of the timer. Ten minutes after that, she was staring at the product in shock, reading and re-reading the directions, checking and double-checking to make sure she'd done everything right. And she had. And by all practical accounts, she should have been staring at a little blue minus sign. But instead, she sat on the lid of her toilet, holding the little beige wand that sported a little blue plus sign.  
  
It had been so easy. Forty-five minutes after she came to the realization of what might be happening, she had the answer. She held in her hand concrete proof of what she'd feared. What she had thought, but couldn't bring herself to believe. It just wasn't possible. There was absolutely no way this could be happening. And yet, it was right there, very cold and scientific, mocking her. She had had her world turned upside down in a short amount of time before . . . but she was pretty sure it had never happened fully in under one hour before.  
  
And it had been so easy. 


	3. Little Blue Crosses

Disclaimer: See First Installment. The doctor is mine.  
  
Spoilers: See First Installment.  
  
Note: Any text inside //these// is italicized. For some reason, I can only upload my stories in text format (I think my Microsoft Word is too old, and it won't save the files into .html. Grrr!!)  
  
WARNING!! I tried not to get too in-depth, but this chapter involves Buffy in a female-type way, and the fact that she's had sex. Nothing more graphic than what you see on the show, but I had to warn ya. If you watch the show, you can read this. I really tried to keep it as close to how the show works as possible.  
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After sitting in the bathroom for an indeterminate amount of time, she suddenly sprang into action. She got out the light brown leather address book that had belonged to her mother. In it, she quickly found the Doctors' Clinic's number and called for an appointment with Dr. Russell.  
  
When they'd moved to Sunnydale, one of the first things her mother did was secure a good 'family doctor' for them. She'd never needed one, but Dawn, being completely human, got sick on occasion, and had slight allergies. He gave Buffy her yearly physicals, though and, more importantly now, he was her gynecologist. After Angelus told her mother they'd slept together, her mom had made her get checked out. When she'd been with Riley, she'd started taking birth control pills, as well as the customary condom. But after she was brought back, she'd been celibate . . . until Spike. She knew he didn't have any diseases, and Angel himself had told her that vampires couldn't have babies.  
  
So how the hell could she be pregnant? But even as she denied the facts, used logic to dispute it . . . she knew her logic was wrong, and that little blue cross was right. She just . . . knew, somehow. But that didn't mean that she wasn't going to make damn sure it was true before allowing herself to believe.  
  
After making the appointment, she made another telephone call. On the fourth ring, someone picked up. "Hello?"  
  
"Tara?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
Buffy let out a sigh. "Hey, this is Buffy. Um, I was wondering if you could do me this //huge// favor."  
  
Tara hesitated slightly before answering. "Sure, I guess. What is it?"  
  
"Well, I have this doctor's appointment in about two hours, and I was wondering if you could drive me . . . and, you know . . . stay for the verdict."  
  
"Oh! Of course, Buffy. Is-is anything wrong? Are you sick?"  
  
Willow entered her room then, so Buffy decided to go with the short, cryptic answer. "No, it's more serious than that. Look, I'll tell you later. Can you pick me up in, like, an hour and forty-five minutes?"  
  
Tara agreed, and Buffy hung up, turning to face Willow. "Yeah, Will?"  
  
Willow shrugged. "I was just gonna see if you wanted to walk with me to the Magic Box, but . . . sounds like you already got plans." She motioned vaguely toward the phone, which Buffy glanced at. "Oh . . . yeah." She looked up to meet Willow's gaze. "I have a doctor's appointment. Just, a, a check-up, really. I'll come by the magic shop afterwards and tell you how it went." She was glad Willow nodded, though obviously not satisfied, because she didn't really feel she had the patience to deal with her questions.  
  
An hour and a half later, Buffy was sitting downstairs on the couch, waiting for Tara to arrive. She could kill time anywhere in the house, so she figured she might as well be sitting close to the door when Tara arrived so she could answer it. Now that the appointment was made, and she knew she was going to get a medical opinion, factual and not-wrong, she was very nervous. There were butterflies in her stomach doing back flips she only dreamed of being able to do.  
  
Willow was roaming around the house, pretending to do something, but Buffy knew she was just wanting to be there when Buffy's ride came to pick her up. Despite never saying her name in front of her, Buffy got the feeling Willow knew it was Tara.  
  
The front door opened, and Dawn walked in. She threw her jacket onto the back of a chair, completely ignoring the coat tree by the front door. Buffy bit back a curse. Dawn. She'd forgotten that Dawn would be home by the time her appointment was scheduled. "Dawn, I need you to go to the Magic Box with Willow."  
  
Dawn stopped on her way to the stairs, turning back to look at her sister. "What?"  
  
Buffy sighed, trying to hold onto her shorter-than-normal temper. "I've got an appointment, and afterwards, I'm going to the Magic Box, therefore, I want you at the shop."  
  
Dawn stared at her for a moment, then her face hardened and she said resolutely, "No."  
  
Buffy rose her eyebrows in surprise - and not a little warning. "What?"  
  
Dawn shook her head to add emphasis to her words. "No way. Anya hates me, I don't wanna go."  
  
Buffy licked her lips. "Listen to me, Dawn," she said, slowly and deliberately. "You will go to the Magic Box with Willow, and you will stay there until I arrive. Understand?"  
  
Dawn threw up her hands. "Why are you always treating me like a little kid? I'm fifteen, not five! Why can't you trust me?"  
  
Oh, that was it. "Because you have given me absolutely no reason to!" Buffy yelled back at her, rising from her seat. "You did a spell against everyone's warnings, trying to get Mom back - you skipped school and almost got held back, made a wish in front of someone you didn't even know, and I find out you're stealing! Explain to me why I should trust you with anything!"  
  
A knock at the door made Buffy stop, and she was equal parts glad and angry about it. She went to answer the door, motioning to Tara that she'd only be a moment. And then she turned back to Dawn. "Now, you //will// walk with Willow to the Magic Box, you //will// be within sight of someone //at all times//, and if anyone gives me a bad report, I swear to God you'll be sorry. And as for how I treat you - I'll stop treating you like a spoiled five-year-old when you stop acting like one!" She turned to Tara and said tersely, "Let's go." 


	4. Options

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters portrayed or mentioned here, they all belong ultimately to Joss Whedon. I do, however, own this particular storyline and the portrayals of the characters //in this story//.  
  
Spoilers: None really in this installment. (Except that Buffy and Spike have been boinking.)  
  
Notes: Any text in //these// is italicized. I really wish I could upload it in .doc or .html format, but I can't. :b This is basically an extension of the last installment, where Buffy and Tara have a little talk on the way to the doctor's office.  
  
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They were at least three blocks away from the house before Tara spoke up. "So, um . . . what's going on, with the doctor's visit?"  
  
Buffy sighed. At least with Tara, she wouldn't have to explain about sleeping with Spike before telling her the news. "I think I'm pregnant." She waited for Tara to make some sign of understanding. Instead, she simply drove silently for a few minutes. Finally, she replied, "You do mean, by Spike, right?"  
  
Buffy threw up her hands. "I think so! I mean, the possibility of me getting pregnant by Spike is about as likely as the possibility of me becoming pregnant when I'm not with anyone!" She sighed, deciding to explain a little. "See, when Angel and I were together - before we'd had sex, when we were still constantly kissing and telling each other 'I love you' - he told me he couldn't have children. It was one of those things that we never brought up again, but it always hung between us. He couldn't have children, and I wanted them, in the far future." She shook her head. "I mean, they're just dead bodies, if you wanna get technical. How can reanimated corpses have live . . . well, you know. How can they reproduce at all if they don't even have a beating heart?"  
  
To this, Tara only shrugged. "But, but you think you are pregnant. And, and you've only been with Spike?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "Since I got back, yeah. Before that, I was only with Riley, and I started taking birth control pills then. I mean, I was //careful//. If it was a possibility that I could get pregnant, I pulled out all the stops. I figured, if nothing else, my mother would kill me if I got pregnant. And already, I am beginning to hate that word. Pregnant. It's such an ugly word."  
  
Tara nodded, though Buffy wasn't sure if it was in agreement with her thoughts on the word 'pregnant', or with something else she'd said. "So, have you taken a self-pregnancy test?"  
  
"Yeah," Buffy replied, nodding. "I checked it, it seemed like a hundred times, to make sure it wasn't wrong. But I did everything right, and it was on the test, clear as day. That damned little plus sign."  
  
Tara bit her lip. "You know . . . if it turns out you are … expecting . . . well, it's just a suggestion, but I figure you should keep your options open, right? Um, what I'm saying, is . . . you could always have a-an a-abortion." She lowered her voice on the last word, as if speaking it too loud would be bad luck. Buffy frowned at that idea.  
  
"Yeah, I don't really like that idea, but, it is an option. Or, you know, it would be if this were a normal situation. But the fact that we're sitting on a Hellmouth and that the thing's father isn't even alive might make the options different." She rose her eyebrows and said contemplatively, "Course, an exorcism might work better than any abortion."  
  
Tara didn't answer.  
  
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Please review and tell me what you think! If you'd rather your opinion be private, you can always e-mail me at 'sailor_silver_fox@hotmail.com' - I love getting e-mails!  
  
Next up!: The doctor's exam! 


	5. The Rabbit Died

Disclaimer: See the first installment.  
  
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They sat in the waiting room silently, Buffy having already filled out the necessary forms and putting them in Dr. Russell's box. Tara had agreed to stay with her in the room while the lab work was done on her blood to check for the baby. A baby. She'd been saying and thinking 'pregnant' until now. It made it seem so much less personal. But if she thought about it not as a pregnancy, but a baby . . . she could abort a pregnancy. But could she abort a baby? Of course, she'd never really even considered getting rid of it. Sure, it would be very hard on her job as the Slayer to be pregnant, and then to have to take care of a baby, and it would make money just that much tighter . . . but she'd never contemplated getting rid of it. It was hers. Hers . . . and Spike's.  
  
That was if she was even pregnant, which she didn't even know yet. She was only going off one little applicator that very easily could be wrong. Of course, she'd thought about it, and even as sporadic as her menstrual cycles had been lately, she was most definitely late in having her period.  
  
When the doctor came back with the results of the lab tests, he asked if she'd taken a self-pregnancy test. Buffy nodded and explained that she wanted to be absolutely certain she was pregnant, and to talk to a physician if she was indeed expecting. He lifted her shirt and felt her stomach, nodding at the tautness of her abdomen. When he was done, he sat on his little chair and wrote a few things down in her chart. "Do you remember the last time you had your period?" he asked, somehow still sounding very sweet and fatherly, despite the questions.  
  
Buffy shrugged a little as she adjusted her shirt. "I'm not entirely sure, a little over a month ago I think, but it's been a little unstable lately. I hadn't even wondered about it until today."  
  
He nodded amiably. "And that's when you thought you might be pregnant?"  
  
"Well, that's what brought me to that conclusion." When he glanced up at that, she explained. "See, I've been more tired than normal lately, and I've been . . . irritable. The other day, I was putting my dishes in the sink, and I fell asleep on my feet. I scared my housemate because I dropped my plate. I was trying to figure out what could be making me tired and moody, and . . . I all of a sudden realized that I hadn't had my period in well over a month."  
  
He nodded again, writing in her chart. "Well, you were right. I'd say, by the increase in breast mass and hardness of your abdomen, you're just about a month along, perhaps a little more." He paused, then asked, "Were you using any kind of protection? I know you have a prescription for Orthotricyclen . . ."  
  
Buffy shook her head. "No, um, last summer . . . I stopped taking it. I hadn't . . . my boyfriend left, and I wasn't //with// anyone until about two or three months ago, and then, it was kind of . . . spontaneous." She watched as he nodded again.  
  
"Well, you've always been in incredible physical shape, very healthy, so I won't put you on a specific diet - just don't eat too much junk food, because you really are eating for two now. Baby won't like harsh foods with bite, so I would go easy on the tacos and pizzas, caffeine and things like that. Also, are you taking any over-the-counter drugs?" Buffy shook her head mutely. "Alright, just check with your pharmacist if you do take anything, or give me a call, to make sure it won't be harmful to the baby. Also, aren't you a fairly active, physical person?"  
  
Buffy shook herself from her thoughts. "Um, yes, very physical, active." The doctor nodded. "Well, I think it will be alright for the next month or so, but when you get farther along, you should probably lighten the load a little, just take it easy. That's really the best advice I can give you: take it easy."  
  
Buffy nodded, mustering a smile when the doctor stood, shaking his hand.  
  
She and Tara left shortly thereafter, getting in the car and driving to the Magic Box in silence.  
  
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Note: Okay, the name of this chapter, "The Rabbit Died" is from a euphemism for a woman being pregnant. I was talking to my mom about how the doctors test for pregnancy, and she said that before modern medicine, they tested for pregnancy by injecting a (female?) rabbit with the woman's blood, and if the rabbit died, the woman was pregnant. I couldn't resist using that for the name of this chapter. It seemed rather appropriate, somehow. 


	6. Busy Schedule

Disclaimer: Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters portrayed or mentioned here, they all belong ultimately to Joss Whedon. I do, however, own this particular storyline and the portrayals of the characters //in this story//.  
  
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The bell above the door rang as it opened, admitting two young blonde ladies. Willow stood up from the table as soon as she saw Tara, unconsciously smoothing out her skirt. Everyone else also stopped what they were doing, having heard from Willow that Buffy had a doctor's appointment, and no one else believing it was 'only a check-up' either.  
  
Buffy stopped at the step, her eyes roving over everyone. Dawn sat at the table, staring at her book blankly, but not quite sullenly. Willow stood at attention, her gaze shifting between Tara and Buffy. Xander was setting things on the shelves, his body twisted now to look at the new arrivals. Anya, of course, was behind the counter at the cash register. And at the door to the training room . . .   
  
"So?" Xander asked. "How'd the check-up go? Everything A-OK with our favorite Slayer?"  
  
Buffy swallowed, her gaze moving rapidly to him when he started talking. "Uh . . . yeah, everything is fine. I'm, heh, perfectly healthy!" she said, grinning and trying to act nonchalant. She couldn't tell them now. She couldn't tell them when she hadn't even figured out what she was going to say. They didn't even know she was sleeping with Spike! And she didn't even like Spike! And she was going to have his baby!  
  
Oh, God. She was going to have a baby. She was going to have //Spike's// baby. And oddly enough, that thought made her stomach tingle in a not-unpleasant way. She was having Spike's baby.  
  
Realizing she was most likely going insane, she tried to make a hasty exit. "But, you know, I have some stuff I have to do, so we should really get going. Dawn?" She waited, surprisingly patiently, as Dawn slowly turned in her chair to face her. Her eyes stared at about Buffy's lips, and she answered, "Yeah?"  
  
Buffy sighed. "Do you want to come with me, or walk home with Willow?" Dawn frowned in confusion, her gaze flicking up to Buffy's eyes before going back down again, thinking over the question. "I'll . . . I'll walk with Willow."  
  
Buffy nodded, turning to the others. "Sorry to run off so fast, but I've got some errands to do. I'll see you guys later?" Xander and Anya nodded, and Buffy had just turned around and saw Tara when a voice stopped her.  
  
"You gonna take time out of your busy schedule to patrol tonight?"  
  
Only Tara saw Buffy close her eyes and press her lips together. Slowly, Buffy turned back around to confront the man she desperately wanted to ignore. She opened her mouth, paused, and then said, "Maybe. We'll see." Then, she turned, grabbed Tara's hand, and yanked her out of the Magic Box.  
  
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Note: Yes, this was very short. I was going to post the next chapter along with it, where Buffy finally tells Spike. . . only for some freakin' reason, when I posted the story, only the disclaimer and part of the notes showed up. I tried re-posting it, but it never changed. So check back soon, and I'll keep working on fixing the damned thing. 


	7. Vampire Notwithstanding

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters portrayed or mentioned here, they all belong ultimately to Joss Whedon. I do, however, own this particular storyline and the portrayals of the characters //in this story//.  
  
Notes: As always, text inside //these// are italicized.  
  
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When Dawn went to bed that night, Buffy told her that she was going out for a quick patrol, but she should be back within two hours. Really, a patrol should only take about three quarters of an hour, but after patrol, she planned on paying a visit to a certain vampire.  
  
She didn't burst into his crypt like she normally did. She wanted him to realize that she was serious. When he looked up from a book he was reading on top of the tomb centered in the room, she knew she'd gotten his attention. "I already did patrol, but . . . I have to talk to you."  
  
Spike's eyebrows went up. He very deliberately placed a bookmark in his spot and set the book down off to the side. "Talk? As in, a conversation? No threats?"  
  
Buffy looked down slightly, shaking her head. Looking back up, she met his gaze. "No threats. In fact . . . I'm calling a truce." This really got his attention; he rocked back in surprise. Buffy nodded to prove she was telling the truth. "This doesn't necessary mean I like you, or feel any deep, profound feelings for you - you know that, right?"  
  
And instead of answering with some snide or rude comment, Spike tilted his head to examine her, and in a soft, serious voice, answered, "Yeah. I know. But, why the sudden change?"  
  
Instead of answering, she moved further into his crypt. She finally came to a stop in front of him, leaning against the wall, giving them about a meter and a half of space. "I'm going to tell the others what we've been doing."  
  
She figured if his heart could stop, it probably would have. He seemed to turn even paler than normal, his eyes growing wide. "What?! Are you insane?!" he cried at last. She was silent, watching as he got himself under control. Eventually, he looked back at her and said, "You know half the fun of this little tryst is sneakin' 'round."  
  
They both knew that was a lie, and for a moment, she couldn't figure out why he didn't want her to tell the others. But then she realized, he was afraid. If she told the others, at least Xander would try to stake him. After gaining some semblance of trust from her friends, he was going to lose it. For some reason, this made her angry, because she knew her friends would blame him totally, conveniently 'forgetting' that she had been a participant. That on more than one occasion, she had initiated it. She pushed those thoughts aside for the moment. "No, it's not," she replied. "It's just a lot of hard work that's hurting my friends and Dawn. I don't like keeping secrets from them." She gave a world-weary sigh. "We're gonna have to stick together on this, Spike. I may not love you, but . . . I've come to like you, when you aren't being overly obnoxious - which is most of the time," she amended when he started to look cocky. "Don't worry about my friends. I will make it absolutely crystal clear that there will be no staking of the Spike."  
  
"And the shunning?"  
  
Buffy took a deep breath before speaking her next words. She wanted him to understand just how much this meant to her. "There will be no shunning, either, or at least, minimal. I will stand up for you all the way. They can't stand you being part of the group . . . they'll have to deal with me leaving."  
  
Spike was stunned. His mouth slid open, hanging agape in shock. "What? Why?"  
  
He sounded like he honestly didn't understand why she was doing all this. Buffy worried her lower lip for a minute before saying slowly, "I'm sick of everyone drifting apart, into their own factions." She realized as she spoke that it was true. "If we aren't a united front, we aren't going to be affective. We're just a bunch of people pretty much now, not a group. And you're part of the group, Spike. You help out, despite none of us ever giving you any credit or thanks." She stopped, trying to think of the best way to go on. She'd thought about how to tell him this ever since seeing him in the magic shop. "Something's . . . happened, come up, that I need to tell you about." And then, she was stuck. What else was she supposed to say? Just get it out, she thought to herself. Just tell him. Taking a deep breath, she said explosively, "I'm pregnant."  
  
He blinked. That was good, at least he was still . . . unliving. Slowly, unbelievingly, he said, "You're . . . pregnant." As if it were a foreign idea to him. Buffy nodded patiently. "You're pregnant," he stated again. Buffy didn't even dignify that with a nod. She simply waited for him to process the information. Spike looked down and to the side, seeming to think very hard about something. Finally, he looked back up at her and asked slowly, "Who's the father?"  
  
Buffy's eyes widened and her eyebrows shot into her hairline at the question. "Who's the--?" She shook her head. "In my entire //existence//, I've only slept with four guys. Angel, once. Parker, once. Riley was my boyfriend, but it's definitely not his. Aside from the whole //being dead// issue, it's been almost six months since I was with him last, and I'm not six months along. I'm only about a month and a half along. The other person I've slept with, Spike, is //you//. You're the only one I've been with since I came back!"  
  
Spike shook his head. "No. That's not possible. Vampires can't have kids. We aren't equipped -- I mean, we got the equipment, but the batteries are dead!"  
  
Buffy took a deep breath, swearing she was going to be patient with him, even if it killed her. "Well, yours must be Energizer batteries, 'cause they still work. Look. I've figured out that I must have . . . conceived, that time when I was invisible. Maybe that has something to do with it. Who knows? The point is, I've only been with you, and now I'm pregnant. Which leads to the obvious conclusion that it's yours, vampire notwithstanding."  
  
Spike sat there, deep in thought, for some time. Buffy took that time to think about what she'd told him, and how she felt about it. She did want Spike to be a part of the group, not just for the sake of the baby, but because, like she told him, she did like him, when he wasn't being a bastard. Which, that wasn't as often as it seemed. Most of the time, he was just saying things that were true, a lot like Anya did, but she never appreciated his observations. She had thought she could get him out of her system, but she was beginning to realize that wasn't going to happen. Spike wasn't going to leave, no matter what anyone said or did, short of killing him. But she didn't love him. She'd gone through that cycle too many times to do it again, once even with another vampire. That way led to broken hearts and scary stalkers. Course, Spike did that anyway - stalked her, that is. Maybe, when they told the others, he would back off a little. She wondered if she really liked the idea of Spike backing off. After all, that was part of who he was.  
  
"Tell them you love me." Buffy frowned. "What?" she asked incredulously.  
  
Spike sighed, reiterating. "Tell them you love me, or they'll never let me in. They'll never take you seriously unless you tell them you love me."  
  
Oh, that was just insane. He just wanted to hear her say it. "No way. They'll never //believe// me if I tell them that."  
  
Spike finally stood up from the tomb and came to stand an arm's length away from her. "Look, they'll see through you as easily as I do. You're gonna tell them you're expectin', right?" Buffy nodded. "If you tell them you're expectin', and it's mine, and you want them to accept me as part of the team, they're gonna realize it's just for junior's sake, and they're still gonna detest me. You tell them you love me, and we're gonna have the kid, they're gonna have to accept me."  
  
She met his eyes defiantly. "But I don't love you." What was supposed to be a hard statement of denial ended up sounding more like a meek protest. Spike smirked softly, but surprisingly, didn't comment on her words. "You've hidden our little affair for quite some time. I'm sure you can hide your contempt for me just as well."  
  
She nodded. "Fine." She said. "Be at the Magic Box tomorrow afternoon. I'll tell everyone then."  
  
As she left Spike's crypt, she thought again about how much she hated him.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Next up!: Buffy tells her friends about her pregnancy, and about Spike. 


	8. TMI

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot (and even that's sort of second-hand).  
  
Notes: (Big, huge, incredible sigh). I wasn't gonna post this big chunk of the story so soon, but I've heard such bad things about 'As You Were' that I decided to try and cheer people up by giving them more. I personally haven't seen it yet (I'll see it Sunday night on Fox), but if it's as bad as people make it sound, I'll have to rethink the idea of bringing Riley into my story later on. If he DOES show up, I can guarantee that he won't stay, or leave happy even.  
Also, about the characters - I think they're pretty in-character. The only one I don't have a real handle on is Dawn, but from what I've heard, a lot of people don't really like her anyway. Since no one knows how she's going to react to something in the show, I figure if she acts weird in here, it's normal.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Buffy was the last person to arrive at the Magic Box the next day, walking over with Dawn after she arrived home from school. Anya was helping a customer, Xander and Willow were sitting at the table talking softly, Tara standing a little off to the side, Spike leaning against the wall beside her.  
  
Dawn immediately went to join Willow and Xander, who, as Buffy found out when she moved closer to them, were talking about the upcoming wedding. She waited for Anya to finish with the customer, standing just in front of the step dividing the room. She glanced over at Spike and Tara. Tara gave her a small supportive smile, having been told earlier about what she was going to do. Spike looked a little pale and preoccupied, but tried to smile at her as well.  
  
Taking a deep breath, Buffy started speaking as Anya took the last chair at the table, between Xander and Dawn. "I, uh, have something to tell you guys." ((Please, don't let me mess this up. Too much.)) "I know, lately, I've been a little . . . unavailable. See, I've been seeing someone, for the past few months, actually. I didn't tell you 'cause I was worried about how you'd react."  
  
"Who? You've been dating someone and you didn't tell us?" Willow asked. Buffy nodded, continuing her explanation.  
  
"Like I said, I was afraid of how you'd react. But, recently, something has come up that has forced me to re-evaluate the situation, and I've realized that it really would be best if we just got it out in the open."  
  
Dawn shocked everyone - though Buffy the most - when she asked bluntly, "Are you pregnant?"  
  
"What!" Xander cried, staring at Dawn. "Come on, Dawn, Buffy wouldn't do that! Aside from the whole TMI issue, she knows to be careful when . . . you know."  
  
Dawn rose an eyebrow skeptically at Xander. "Having sex?" She smirked when she saw how flustered Xander got. He was getting married to Anya in less than a year, but even now he had a problem thinking of Buffy with other guys. It was funny, really.  
  
Buffy sighed in resignation at her sister's behavior. At least she wasn't sulking. "Yes, Xander, I know to 'be careful'. Believe me, Mom preached to me constantly after she found out about me and Angel." She shifted her gaze to Dawn. "And yes, Dawn, I'm pregnant."  
  
Dawn squeaked a shout, raising her hands in triumph. "I was right!" Then, her sister's words sunk in and her arms fell, her face showing shock. "I was right? You're pregnant?"  
  
Buffy shook her head. "I'm really beginning to hate that word. Yes, I am expecting. About seven to eight months from now I will have a perfectly healthy baby." To herself, she muttered, "God willing, it'll even be human."  
  
"So, who's the father? Do we know him?" Willow asked quickly, and somewhat enthusiastically. Buffy gave her a wan smile. "Yeah, you know him." She took a deep breath. "Spike. I'm . . . seeing Spike."  
  
Silence met her words, and she began to fidget. She didn't like feeling like she felt now - like a bug under a microscope. Everyone staring at her, trying to understand her. And when she felt uncomfortable, she usually did one of two things: made a graceful but hasty exit, or got angry. Anger gave her an adrenaline rush that uneasiness didn't, and she had a feeling she was going to need the adrenaline. It also made her speeches much more passionate and persuasive.  
  
"I'm not telling you this so you can all jump to judge me and tell me your opinions. I'm not telling you so we can all suddenly feel awkward. I'm telling you so that you know. I am with Spike, and I am staying with Spike. He is going to be part of the team, the way he should have been the entire time, even before we got together." She didn't give her ultimatum of 'him or me', saving it in case the situation took a radical turn.  
  
"So . . . you're dating Spike?" Willow finally ventured slowly. Buffy pushed her lips to the side as she regarded Willow. Her eyes flicked to Spike before answering. "We aren't //dating// . . . we're just seeing each other. We're together." From the look already on Xander's face, she knew it would be going too far to call themselves a couple at this point. But they were. For the sake of appearances, if nothing else, they were a couple, and they were going to continue to be a couple. However, right now, she was walking a thin line between acceptance and revulsion.  
  
Xander was her main antagonist in this little drama of hers. Willow, though she didn't really think Spike loved her, just wanted Buffy to be happy. As her best friend and fellow girl, Willow understood her better, and if she was concerned, she had the option of voicing those concerns later in private. Anya . . . She didn't have as good a fix on Anya as the others, but as far as she could tell, Anya just wanted everyone to be happy. If Xander was persuasive, though, she might be against Spike just because she loved Xander. Dawn liked Spike anyway, and appeared to be the only one who believed Spike could love her, and the only one visibly happy at the news of their relationship. Tara, of course, was supportive of her decision, though earlier when Buffy'd asked her opinion of Spike, she'd simply replied, "It varies at times." Boy, did she understand that!  
  
That, of course, left only Xander. She decided to confront him now, head-on, not giving him a chance to think up a clever argument to hide how he really felt. She crossed her arms, though keeping them loose enough so as not to look stern. "Well? Out with it."  
  
No one breathed. Dawn shifted in her chair and grimaced when it creaked. Buffy and Xander paid no mind though, eyes locked as they gauged each other, sizing each other up. Finally, Xander sighed in defeat. "It's not going to matter if I point out that //this is Spike//, is it?" Buffy shook her head mutely and he sighed again. "Fine. You know I don't like this, right?" He held up his hand immediately. "Sorry, rhetorical question." He paused, thinking over his next words. When he met her eyes again, she unconsciously held her breath. "I just want you to be happy, Buff. That's all I've ever wanted," he said earnestly. "In the beginning, I thought I could give you that happiness." He glanced at Anya, but quickly looked back to Buffy before he continued. "Fortunately, I was wrong." He inspected his hands twined together for a moment, as if holding her eyes too long was impossible. But he always met them when he spoke, as he did now. His voice was grave as he stated his concern. "I've seen you with another vampire, Buff. And even now, without jealousy clouding my perception, I remember how much he hurt you. Granted, I did my part during the whole Acathla thing, but . . . you ran away! We've had some of our hugest fights over Angel, and most of them were valid!" He took a deep breath, as if just realizing he'd raised his voice. "The point is, Angel made you miserable, and most of the time, that was //with// his soul. I just . . ." he paused, then finished passionately, "I just don't want you to get hurt again."  
  
Buffy smiled wryly. "Believe me, my pain threshold has risen considerably since Angel." She shook her head to dismiss the remark before anyone could comment. "Let me point out, for the record, that we aren't talking about Angel. We're talking about Spike. Yes, they're both vampires - but that's about where the similarities end. For one thing, when we couldn't be together, Angel left. When I //told// Spike we would //never// be together, he never left. Even after I died, and he thought there was never even going to be a chance with me."  
  
"Which just proves Spike's a moron," Xander muttered. Buffy glared at him.  
  
"If Spike's a moron, then so are you, Xander!" she said vehemently, a small part of her mind comprehending the fact that she was defending Spike and marveling at how well she was doing, and how easy it seemed. "You stayed here too, slaying vampires all summer right beside Spike."  
  
"But I knew there was a chance of getting you back!" Xander argued.  
  
Buffy countered, "Are you saying you would've left if you hadn't known?" Despite the fact that she was arguing with one of her best friends, she felt amazingly exhilarated, like when she was in a battle, or when she fought Spike, and she knew she had the upper-hand. It was almost euphoric. But, just like in battle, she still had to be careful, watchful for hidden weapons, twists she wasn't anticipating.  
  
"Wha-? No!" Xander cried, looking uncomfortable. He sighed and shook his head. "I get it, okay? You're defending Spike. And damned well." He muttered the last to himself. "Fine. You and Spike are together." He gave her a piercing glance that made her want to fidget. He was going to give an unexpected twist. "Do you love him?"  
  
If Spike hadn't already warned her, she would have been shocked by the question and instinctively said 'no', which was obviously what Xander was trying for. The game would have been lost, then. But she'd been planning on telling them anyway, so she forcibly shoved her first response away and answered naturally, "Yes. I may not like him immensely all the time, but I do love him." She was bothered slightly at how easy the words came; she was more bothered by the penetrating look Spike was giving her. His lips hadn't moved, but she could almost see the smirk in his eyes.  
  
"This isn't fair!" Anya suddenly cried. Several incredulous stares turned her way. It was Xander who finally asked, "How's that, Ahn?"  
  
Anya huffed the way only she could when she thought an injustice was being done to her. "Well, we're getting married, and Buffy's skipping right to the having-a-baby part! It's not fair!" she repeated sulkily, crossing her arms over her chest in a very immature fashion.  
  
Spike rolled his eyes at the display she was giving. "Technically, it shouldn't even be possible."  
  
"Hey, yeah!" Willow said excitedly, sitting up straighter in her seat. "It, it shouldn't be possible! I-I mean, Spike's a vampire, and vampires can't have babies - right?" she turned the question toward Spike, who nodded. "Took me by surprise, too."  
  
Buffy sighed. "It shouldn't be possible, which is how it happened in the first place." When she got confused looks, she tried to - delicately - elaborate. "Neither of us thought Spike could . . . have kids, so we didn't . . . that is, we weren't . . ."  
  
Once again, it was Dawn who 'came to the rescue'. She piped up helpfully - and a bit too eagerly - "You didn't use protection?"  
  
Buffy turned to stare at her sister in shock, yet again. "Dawn! What the hell?!" She wasn't angry at her, she just wanted to know why it was her fifteen-year-old sister who kept blurting out things everyone else felt uncomfortable mentioning.  
  
Dawn shrugged. "Hello, I'm in high school. What do you think high schoolers talk about?" She frowned, realizing that wasn't really a good way to earn her sister's trust. "I mean, I hear other kids talk about it. I, personally, have no knowledge of such things." She was glad when Buffy let her off with a suspicious look. "Yes, we didn't use protection, okay?"  
  
Willow looked around at everyone before asking, "Is anyone else thinking, 'Hellmouth'?" Buffy raised her hand instantly, having already come to that conclusion. Spike raised his hand readily enough at the possibility, and Xander's hand slowly went up. With a shrug, Anya's rose as well.  
  
"See, I think it happened while I was invisible," Buffy explained. "I don't know how much of a Hellmouth-y thing it is, and how much of a something-else thing it is."  
  
Xander paled noticeably, and asked, "You were with Spike when you were invisible?"  
  
Buffy opened her mouth in surprise that he remembered that and had put two and two together so quickly. "Um, yeah. I was."  
  
Xander persed his lips, nodded resolutely, then stood up. "If you'll all excuse me," he said, heading toward the training room without waiting for anyone to reply. He very deliberately shut the door, and a moment later, they all heard a muffled, "Gaaaahhhh!"  
  
Buffy closed her eyes and grimaced. She heard Spike chuckle and turned to glare at him. "It isn't funny, Spike!"  
  
His response was to let his chuckle grow into a full-out laugh. "It's not my fault the boy doesn't know how to knock!"  
  
This was one of those times when she didn't like him immensely. In fact, this was one of those times when she didn't really like him at all.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
For anyone who doesn't know, TMI stands for Too Much Information. I've been told that several times, and I still sometimes forget. (Course, I'm dumb like that.) 


	9. The Phone Call

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters portrayed or mentioned in the following story. They all belong essentially to Joss Whedon. Cynthia belongs to me, and is in no way related to Olivia.  
  
Spoilers: None, except in the first paragraph, which contains mild spoilers for: Nightmares, Gingerbread, Tough Love, The Weight of the World, The Gift, Bargaining, and Older and Far Away.  
  
Notes: Text in //these// are italicized. I'm sorry if Willow seems a little off. I've never met anyone addicted to anything, so I don't know how she should act. Plus, I have a better grip on her character before she started college and dating Tara and everything, so... that's why she acts like that. Hope you enjoy.  
  
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She wasn't really one for panicking. She didn't panic when she couldn't de-rat Amy at first. She didn't panic when Glory brain-sucked Tara and made her a crazy five-year-old. She didn't panic when Buffy went catatonic after Glory took Dawn, nor during any of the subsequent repetitiveness of Buffy's thoughts. She hadn't panicked when she saw Buffy's lifeless body laying there among the rubble after their ultimate fight with Glory. She didn't panic as the coffin holding Buffy's body was slowly lowered into the ground, and dirt was tossed onto it (although it did bring back memories of Giles saying that was his greatest nightmare, looking at Buffy's headstone.) She didn't really panic so much as lose hope when she thought that her spell hadn't worked and Buffy wouldn't be coming back. And she hadn't panicked at Buffy's birthday party when no one could get out of the house, even when Anya was bullying her to do magic. Willow Rosenberg wasn't one to panic, even if she didn't know exactly what to do. She was level-headed (most of the time), used common sense, and remained fairly calm in the face of a crisis, even before she'd had a lot of experience.  
  
Perhaps she was panicking now, as she rifled through the drawer of her nightstand, looking for a specific piece of paper she'd only had to use once before. Perhaps she was merely overwhelmed by what was happening. It didn't matter. She was going to go through with this, whether it was a very level-headed thing to do or not.  
  
She punched the necessary numbers into the telephone, silently promising Buffy she would pay for the call herself, somehow.  
  
She was getting antsy as she waited for someone on the other end to pick up, fidgeting with the cord and continuously glancing at her door, almost expecting someone to come in and demand to know what she was doing, who she was calling, and why.  
  
On the sixth ring, the phone was answered. "Hello?" a feminine voice said, and Willow's eyebrows rose slightly in surprise. She pushed it aside and said, as politely as she could through her not-panicking, "I need to speak to Rupert Giles." She almost added 'right away' when the woman didn't immediately comply, but held back, knowing she would only be being rude.  
  
A moment of muffled voices and shuffling of the receiver, and then a familiar male voice said, "Hello, this is Rupert Giles."  
  
Despite wanting to remain calm, Willow couldn't help but cry in relief, "Giles! Thank goodness!" ((Oh no, that's not going to worry him at all,)) she thought wryly.  
  
"Willow? What is it?" he asked, indeed sounding worried. Willow immediately apologized. "Sorry, Giles, I didn't mean to upset you. It's just . . . "  
  
"Willow, the mere fact that you called me at all has me worried. //Something// had to've come up to get you to call long distance." He paused, then asked more softly, "Is it Buffy?"  
  
"Yes!" Willow cried, then cringed at how that sounded and instantly contradicted herself. "No. I mean," she floundered, feeling so much like when she was in high school. She sighed, willing herself to calm down. "I mean, it's about Buffy, but Buffy herself is alright . . . I think. I'm not sure, actually, but she seems alright." She mentally growled at herself. She wouldn't blame Giles if he had a heart attack, thinking something monstrous had happened to Buffy. "Look, I'm not really thinkin' too clear right now, so bare with me, 'kay?" She sighed again. "Buffy is fine, as far as I can tell, mentally and physically . . . well, kinda physically . . . rrr! See, I don't want to tell you, 'cause it's really Buffy's to tell, but . . . something Hellmouth-y has happened to her, and she's . . . got a condition. A life-altering condition, but not necessarily a bad life-alter. You know?" she asked piteously at the end, having given up on trying not to alarm the older man.  
  
On the other end of the line, Giles gave a brief rueful smile. "No, actually, I can't say as I do, but that's alright." He thought about the last time he had spoken to Willow over the phone while in London. "Does this, ah, life altercation require my presence?" He wasn't sure if he wanted it to or not. He missed them all terribly, but, against all odds, he was enjoying his stay in London. Still, for all the acquaintances he had now, and the peaceful flow of his life, at times, he could swear that he was only on an extended vacation from Sunnydale. No matter how much of a life he gained in London, he never truly let himself stop being Buffy's Watcher. This was most likely because deep down, he didn't want to. Despite what he told her about his reasons for leaving, he could never indeed let her go. She would always be his Slayer. His Buffy.  
  
"I don't know," Willow squeaked. "I think . . . I think in the next few months, Buffy's gonna have a lot to cope with, and adjust to, and . . . well, your presence would help, a great deal. I'd wager." Giles couldn't quite hold back his smile at Willow's not-quite-innocent words. She thought he should come back, even if Buffy didn't. He frowned at that thought. "Willow, does Buffy even know you're calling me?"  
  
"Um. . ." she stalled, and he could just see her looking up and off to the side, trying to think of how to answer truthfully without actually having to tell the truth. It struck him then how well he knew her - and all of the others in Sunnydale - as opposed to his casual friends in Bath and London.  
  
Sighing in that 'exasperated British Librarian' way of his, he said, "I'll be there soon. Do you suppose Buffy can handle her 'life-altering condition' for about another week?"  
  
Willow chewed on the inside of her lip. "Yeah, I think so." She paused, then asked eagerly, "Does that mean you're coming?"  
  
He chuckled. "I suppose it does. But I have a few things to take care of first. Where should I go when I arrive?"  
  
"Um. . . if it's during the day, the Magic Box, but if it's after eight, Buffy's house. Everyone's been congregating here lately, even though Spike's always here, too." She made a noise that could mean disgust, or perhaps annoyance, at that, and Giles picked up on it. "Spike is at the house? Why?"  
  
"Really, I should let Buffy explain all this," Willow said quickly, her voice higher-pitched than normal. Giles narrowed his eyes, smelling a fox in the proverbial hen house. "Willow, why is Spike at the house all the time?"  
  
Willow gave a nervous little laugh. She really was reverting back to her high school days. "Really, you should ask Buffy, but basically, Spike and Buffy are together. I'm tellin' ya, Giles, weird things've been happening lately."  
  
"Yes, I believe you," Giles said. He promised her that he would be there soon, within a week or two. After hanging up, he merely stood there, his hand resting on the receiver. One of the first things he'd thought of when Willow had begun talking was when Buffy had been infected by the demon's blood and could read minds. He was rather reluctant to return to Sunnydale, afraid it would negate the fact that he'd left in the first place. He wanted Buffy to be able to handle things on her own, but if he ran back to her side every time something happened to her . . . he sighed. On the other hand, it had been months since he left, and if the Scooby Gang was keeping up with their average, they had battled many demons as well as gotten into non-demonic trouble as well, never once running to him for help or advice. A selfish part of him was glad that they still needed him.  
  
"Rupert?" He turned, smiling slightly at Cynthia. She tilted her head slightly, enquiringly, but returned the smile. "What's going on?"  
  
His smile turned puzzled and he shook his head. "Apparently. . . I'm taking a trip to America."  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
I'm giving you guys fair warning - Real life and my mom might keep me from posting these as often as I would like. I'll try to post once a week, but I can't guarantee anything. The good news is, the further along we get, the longer the pieces are getting. 


	10. That's What I Said

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, they belong ultimately to Joss Whedon. Don't sue, I don't have money to give you.  
  
Spoilers: standard 'through season 6' - after 'Older and Far Away', this is an Alternate Universe. Later on, I'll parallel the show, like Xander and Anya's wedding, but no actual spoilers.  
  
Summary: Giles arrives! He finds out about Buffy's 'condition'.  
  
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Buffy glared at the man standing between her and the door. "Move, or you'll be able to fit in a snack bag!"  
  
Spike merely raised a scarred eyebrow skeptically. "And yet, I'm not moving."  
  
Buffy narrowed her eyes more. She was stopped from doing or saying anything else by a knock on the door. After giving Buffy a glare of his own, Spike uncrossed his arms and opened the door. Buffy gasped. "Giles?"  
  
Giles shifted on his feet and offered a tentative smile. "Yes, hello."  
  
Buffy frowned. "What are you doing here?"  
  
Spike rolled his eyes. "Come in, Giles," he said exaggeratedly, "before something eats you."  
  
Giles looked somewhat surprised at that, but did step inside the house, letting Spike close the door behind him. "W-Willow called me."  
  
Buffy pursed her lips. "Let me guess. Willow called you up and said, 'Oh, Giles help! Buffy's gone insane and I don't know what to do!'"  
  
Giles frowned, shaking his head. "N-no, actually, she called and said that you uh, that you were going through some sort of, of changes. And that you might, uh, appreciate my. . . presence. . ." he trailed off uncertainly at her silence.  
  
Buffy sighed, realizing she was being hard on the wrong person. She smiled softly and stepped forward, wrapping her arms around him in a tentative hug, which Giles gladly returned. "I am glad you came," she said softly. "I guess I won't kill Willow for calling you." She pulled back and smiled at him, then went to sit on the stairs. "So, she told you I was going through some 'changes', huh? What kind of changes?"  
  
"Well, she simply said it had something to do with the Hellmouth, but never mentioned anything specific. Actually, she mentioned life-altering, but, uh ... 'not necessarily in a bad way.' And, she mentioned . . . Spike." Giles glanced furtively at the vampire in question, who was leaning against the doorway that led into the living room. Spike arched an eyebrow at him, but remained silent.  
  
"Well . . ." Buffy sighed. Giles was the closest thing to a father, now the only parent she had around, and she didn't want him to be disappointed in her, in the choices she'd made. ((But that's why he left,)) she thought, ((so that you wouldn't keep turning to him for approval.)) Taking a fortifying breath, she stated simply, "I'm pregnant."  
  
Giles' eyebrows rose slightly, and he glanced down. He finally cleared his throat and glanced in Spike's direction before asking, "Who, ah -- wh-who is the . . . the father?" He turned in surprise when Spike snorted. "That's what I said when she told me."  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes at Spike's comment, but nodded at Giles' questioning look. "Yeah, and like I told him - there's only been the one guy I've been with since being dead, and that's Spike. Ergo - Spike's the father." She shrugged. "Which is why we're thinking 'Hellmouth'. Or the Nerd Trio." Giles frowned and shook his head. "The Nerd Trio?"  
  
"Oh." Buffy realized that Giles hadn't been around since before finding out about the three boys. "Um, you know that weird stuff that happened to me a while ago? The demon at Xander's construction site, and the never-ending day at the Magic Box with the Mummy hand? Well, it turns out it was these three guys, Warren - you know, the robot girlfriend - Andrew - his brother Tucker is the guy with the hellhounds - and Jonathon! They think they're my nemeses! Mostly, they're just morons."  
  
Spike frowned, thinking of the Nerds. "They know about my chip." He met Buffy's eyes when she and Giles looked at him. "What? They know you can't hurt humans?" Spike shook his head. "No, no. When I thought it was goin' wonky - 'cause I hit you - I had Warren check it out. But I didn't tell him what it was for."  
  
Dawn walked in then from the kitchen, munching on a cookie. She grinned when she saw Giles. "Hey, Mr. Giles! Didja hear? Buffy's pregnant! You … did know, right?" she asked uncertainly, realizing Buffy might not have gotten around to telling him yet.  
  
Giles smiled at Dawn and nodded. Beside him, Spike pulled out a cigarette and his lighter.  
  
"Spike!" Dawn cried admonishingly. Spike looked up from where he had his head bent to light his cigarette. "What?" he asked around the still-unlit stick. Dawn glared at him. "What do you mean, 'what'? I told you, smoking is bad for the baby!"  
  
"I won't let 'im have one then!" Spike retorted. Dawn planted her hands on her hips and just glared at him. Spike gave a long-suffering sigh. "Ya know, I can't hurt you lot anymore, the only thing I have left is the hope my smoking'll give someone cancer!" Neither Dawn nor Buffy batted an eye at his protest, showing how often he made it. Spike shouldered past Giles to the door. He was only allowed to smoke outdoors now, and never around Buffy. ((At least before, I had some bloody freedom)) he thought, knowing the entire time that he didn't care. He'd take Buffy over freedom any day. Shutting the door as he stepped onto the porch, the thought dawned on him, ((I am so whipped.)) 


	11. Zombie With A Soul

Disclaimer: Like I've said, they belong to Joss, not me. Don't sue, you'll only get paper - and even that's been written on.  
  
Spoilers: Anything that Giles missed, up to 'Older and Far Away'  
  
Notes: I decided to post this one since the last chapter is so short, and this is really just a continuation. Mostly, it's just dialogue, with Buffy and Giles talking about the things he's missed. Everyone should be happy, though: I put in a little Buffy-angst, which is cleared up by a little Spike-love at the end. Yay!  
  
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"Well, my job here is done," Dawn said with a smug smile on her face, then headed off to terrorize someone else in the house. Buffy gave a little smile as she watched her sister leave. Ever since that little 'incident' before her doctor's appointment, Dawn had been behaving herself fairly well. Part of it, Buffy was pretty sure, was because Dawn felt she had to be more responsible now, because of the baby.  
  
"Spike can hit you without his chip going off?" Buffy closed her eyes for a moment. Of course Giles would notice that. She looked back at him and nodded. "Yeah," she said softly. "It's a long story--" she stopped when he gave her a look as if to say, 'remember who you're talking to.' Taking a deep breath, but not quite sighing, she explained, "It seems the spell Willow performed to bring me back did something to my body. It changed it just enough for Spike's chip to not activate. I had Tara research it for me, and she said it was basically just a bad sunburn, or something."  
  
Giles nodded. "Yes, if I'm correct in the mechanics of the, the spell, it actually reanimated your body and, and attached your soul to it, for lack of a better term."  
  
Buffy arched an eyebrow. "You mean, I'm a zombie?"  
  
Giles closed his eyes and shook his head. "No, no, zombies don't have souls. They don't think, they merely do their Master's bidding."  
  
Buffy rose both eyebrows at that. "So...I'm a zombie with a soul?" Why did that sound so familiar?  
  
"You are not a zombie!" Giles said in frustration. Taking a deep breath, he decided to change the subject slightly. "Why did you have Tara research the spell, instead of just asking Willow?"  
  
Why did he keep asking her the hard questions? Buffy decided to skip the whole 'Willow isn't doing magic anymore' thing and explain her main reason. "I thought. . . well, I thought something was wrong with me. Aside from the whole 'Spike hitting me' thing, I thought there was some reason. . ." Ugh. She was going to have to explain to him about the whole fighting thing. And this was Giles. She was embarrassed enough that her friends and sister knew that she'd been sleeping with Spike. But with Giles, it was like talking about sex with your father. "See, after we got into this huge fight, Spike and I. . . ended up sleeping together." She was NOT going to say sex. "I thought I'd come back wrong, and I knew Willow felt bad enough for pulling me out of... my peace, I didn't want to tell her, 'Hey, not only do I not appreciate your spell, but I think you did something wrong!'" She paused, then decided she'd told him so much already, she might as well explain it all. Softly, she said, "I thought the thing that let Spike hit me was the same thing that was making me lose control with him." She glanced to the floor. "But the fact is, I didn't want to be in control. I wanted to be with someone who really loved me. My friends all say they love me, and they missed me when I was dead, but . . . . two weeks after coming back, and they acted like everything was normal, when I didn't feel like that." She shrugged, finally meeting his eyes again. "Spike never takes me for granted."  
  
"He loves you," Giles found himself saying. He had never liked Spike, and beside Xander, had been the most vehement that what Spike felt was only obsession with Buffy. He had also agreed with Xander that after Buffy had returned, Spike had started his little obsession again, completely ignoring the fact that Spike had been extremely advantageous to them over the summer. Sometime, when he'd been thinking over his 'visit' to Sunnydale that first time, to see Buffy resurrected, he'd realized that he'd forgotten that Xander could be - and quite frequently was - completely wrong about things. The boy was insightful about worldly affairs, he granted, but when dealing with the supernatural, Xander knew very little that his ex-demon fiancée didn't tell him.  
  
"He used to." Buffy's murmured words made Giles frown. "W-what do you mean?"  
  
Buffy shrugged, staring at her hands, outstretched over her knees. "I *mean*, he used to love me. We used to fight, we used to--. But ever since I told him I was pregnant . . . he hasn't touched me." She whispered the last part, seemingly more to herself than Giles. She went on in a louder, though still subdued voice, "I thought, when we first started this little 'tryst', that it was just a thing. 'An itch I couldn't scratch,' he called it. I honestly thought that's what it was. But then . . . I couldn't stop. And, more importantly, I didn't want to. I felt ... I *felt* when I was with Spike." She paused, thinking over her next words carefully. "I don't love Spike - I don't think - but, I need him. Strangely enough, he's the only one I feel truly safe with. He can protect himself, so I don't always have to save him from demons or vampires. And he doesn't have a soul, so it's not like he's gonna lose it when we're together. I depend on him to hit me with the hard facts and not sugarcoat things, trying to go easy on my feelings, but whisk me away when life becomes too hard. And, I //thought//, he would always do that for me. But the more time passes, and he keeps staying away . . . the more I think he was just having a fun romp in the hay. And now, he's gotten bored. It's no fun being together if all your friends know about it, apparently." It took all the danger out of having sex everywhere from his crypt to outside the DoubleMeat Palace, to her very own backyard. Apparently, he'd never heard the saying about closing the barn door after the horses were already loose.  
  
Giles didn't know what to tell Buffy. Fortunately, he was fairly certain that she didn't want advice, she merely needed to relieve herself of those thoughts, get them out in the open, as it were. But to watch her in such obvious agony. . . he wondered just how much she 'didn't love' Spike.  
  
* * * * * *  
OUTSIDE  
* * * * * *  
  
Spike sat numbly, staring off into the darkness of the yard, not really seeing anything. The cigarette he hadn't been allowed to smoke inside had long ago burned down and now merely smoldered at the filter, a long butt of ash hanging off.  
  
It was warm for that early in the year, which was the reason he guessed the window in the front room was left open a good two inches. A normal human would probably have to strain to even differentiate the male from the female voice murmuring inside. A vampire, however, had acute hearing, and he could make out the voices of the Watcher and Buffy perfectly.  
  
She needed him. He knew that, even if he hadn't put it into so many words. But he hadn't realized ... he hadn't realized that they hadn't been together since she'd told him she was expecting. It had only been what, two weeks at the outside, if even that, and a hectic two weeks, so it really shouldn't have been a big deal. But considering that they'd found time to sneak away almost every night before that, and now her friends //knew// about them . . . he could understand why she would think he'd lost interest.  
  
But he hadn't. Of course he hadn't! Spike frowned. Why hadn't he tried to sneak her away from her friends for a little late-night debauchery? It struck him then: the baby. He'd been so thrown by the news that he was going to be a father - after over a hundred years of knowing it wasn't possible, and not even caring - that he'd been sort of shell-shocked. He thought he'd gotten over it, past it, as he so easily rolled with the other proverbial punches life landed, but deep down, he was still reeling. He was going to be a father. And in the process, he was ignoring the mother of his child completely.  
  
((Well,)) he thought resolutely, flicking the wasted cigarette into the yard as he stood up, ((that's one problem I can fix right now.))  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
The front door opened, and Spike stepped around Giles and said brusquely to Buffy, "Come on, let's patrol."  
  
Buffy gave a confused frown and glanced at her watch. "Now? It's late. I need to make a place for Giles, get Dawn into bed--"  
  
Spike shook his head. "Rupert can take care of Nibblet, let Red fix a place. Any vamps or nasties out tonight will think they're home-free if they haven't been caught yet. Perfect time to go patrol."  
  
Realizing he wasn't going to give up, Buffy stood, gave Giles an apologetic look and shrugged. "I guess I'll see you later." She was going to say more, but Spike grabbed her hand and tugged her around the Englishman.  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"I thought you didn't want me to slay," Buffy said, some minutes later as they trekked through a cemetery. Spike still led her impatiently by the hand, and her shoulder was beginning to ache from her arm being stretched between them. Was he really in that much of a hurry to get the night over with?  
  
Spike spared a glance behind him at her. "I thought you //did// want to slay. Make up your mind, girl. And, by the way, you aren't gonna slay anything."  
  
Buffy frowned, now thoroughly confused. "But, back at the house--"  
  
Spike waved his free hand in dismissal. "Just an excuse to get you away. Really, luv, take a look around. Surely //somethin'// must look familiar to ya."  
  
Frowning, Buffy glanced around at the various trees and headstones, and the occasional mausoleum. Sure enough, she realized it was familiar. In an instant, she saw that they were in the cemetery that housed Spike's crypt ... and it looked like they were making a bee-line straight for it. "Why are we going to your crypt?"  
  
Spike rolled his eyes. She really believed all that garbage about him being bored, didn't she? Knowing where they were headed, and that they had a perfect excuse to be there for a while, and she still didn't think he wanted her. Finally seeing it, he sped up a little. He didn't want to waste anymore time than he had to. "We're going to my crypt . . ." he dodged some large headstones, "so that I can show you . . ." he slowed as they approached the door, "just how much . . ." he pulled her against him, "I am NOT bored with you." He smashed his mouth against hers, kissing her passionately and giving her no alternative but to do the same. "I love you, Buffy," he said breathlessly when he pulled back, planting kisses along her jaw and the column of her neck. "I love you so bloody much, and nothing is ever gonna change that."  
  
Buffy moaned at that, lifting her hands and catching her fingers in his hair. "Spike. . ."  
  
They didn't actually make it into the crypt until much later. 


	12. Maybe it's Buffy

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters portrayed or mentioned in this work of fiction, all belong to Joss Whedon and his merry band of cohorts. Please don't sue me, I really own nothing except my computer, and a wonderful cold I've developed (well, you can take the cold.). Besides, I'm a minor. My mom doesn't really have anything either. Oh! But Cynthia is mine ^^V. Not that anyone cares, but. . .  
  
Spoilers: Let's just say "I'm pretty sure, yeah." I remember thinking 'that's a spoiler' when I wrote something, but I don't remember what, and I don't feel like reading through the whole thing to find it. So let's say: Minor to major spoilers from 'Welcome to the Hellmouth' up through 'Older and Far Away', at which point it becomes A/U. Oh! That reminds me --  
  
Props: To Joss Whedon, for centering an entire episode of 'Buffy' around alternate dimensions. I took that as permission to write fanfiction, since all fanfiction is is one alternate universe after another breaking away from the 'canon' dimension of the show. So 'Yay!'  
  
Notes: I'm sick. VERY sick. So sick that I'm asleep more than I am awake, and when I'm awake, I feel like I should be sleeping. This happened about half-way through my writing this chapter - I'm sure you can figure out where, because my writing sort of goes downhill. I'd apologize for that, as well as the sort-of cliffhanger ending - but I don't want to. I feel I did a pretty darn good job, considering I feel like crap. So please review, wish me better, tell me I'm awesome (you'd be surprised at what good medicine ego-boosts are), whatever. Or e-mail me at 'sailor_silver_fox@hotmail.com' . I really like getting e-mail, and talking to people. I like getting something in my in-box other than junkmail, too. Okay, read the story now.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
Something was poking her in the back. It was hard, and right below her shoulder blades. Reaching an arm behind her, she pulled it out and stared at it. A boot. Her boot, she realized somewhat dimly. ((I was sure I got those off before we made it downstairs.)) Remembering the previous night made Buffy grin happily. Somehow, they'd made it to Spike's bed sometime during the night . . . or morning, she wasn't sure. Now, she clutched the sheet to her chest as she sat up, searching for Spike. He lay at the other end of the bed, his head barely resting on the edge. She took a moment to appreciate his lean, muscular body, completely devoid of any covers, then decided that she could appreciate it much better when he was awake.  
  
She lightly scraped the bottom of the foot closest to her, making her way slowly up his leg, just barely brushing the underside of his knee, running her fingertips along his thigh, around to the front . . . .  
  
Her hand was inches from its goal when Spike grabbed her by the wrist and yanked, making her topple and lay spread over him. "You break it, you buy it," he murmured, lazily kissing the sensitive skin behind her ear.  
  
Buffy frowned. "You break it, you buy it? That's the best you can come up with?" She pulled back to look him in the eye. Spike merely smiled unabashedly. "Give us a minute, luv. Witty comebacks only work when I can think them up. Thanks to last night, I don't imagine I'll be doing much of anything for a while."  
  
Buffy grinned happily. "It was fun, wasn't it?" Spike simply chuckled his agreement. Sighing contentedly, Buffy raised her arm to glance at her watch - which had miraculously made it through the night. What she saw made her groan. "It's almost eleven! We were supposed to meet at the Magic Box almost an hour ago!" Fortunately, it was a Saturday, so she wouldn't have the double guilt of not getting Dawn off to school on time. Still, she was going to show up at the shop and all of her friends were going to know exactly what she'd been doing all night. She hoped Xander didn't spend the whole time glaring.  
  
She got off the bed, rummaging around the room for her clothes. She still wasn't as casual about being naked as Spike was ((but then, a hundred years of having the same body would make me confident too)) she thought. Pulling on her shirt, she glanced at him surreptitiously. ((And what a fine body it is.)) She waited until he too was dressed, then explained, "I'm gonna go home and take a quick shower. You go to the Magic Box and tell them. . . well, maybe not about last night. Just tell them I'm on my way."  
  
Spike made a stern face and gave her a mock-salute. She was about to head upstairs when he grabbed her arm, spun her around and kissed her, quickly but deeply. "See ya later," he said huskily. Before Buffy could decide to jump him right there, Spike headed off to the tunnels under Sunnydale.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"I don't think Buffy's gonna be here for a while," Willow said to no one in particular. It had been twenty minutes and Buffy hadn't shown up. She would have been worried, except Spike was missing, too. Giles had told her the other night that Spike had dragged Buffy off to patrol, and had seemed rather impatient about it. It wasn't too hard to add Buffy plus Spike and equal . . . well, what they were researching. Obviously, the whole baby thing wasn't going to put a cramp in Buffy and Spike's sex life. ((Buffy and Spike //have// a sex life. I didn't want to think about that.))  
  
"Okay then," Anya said, pulling a white cardboard package closer to her on the table. Xander had arrived carrying them for her, and she had happily announced that they were the bridesmaids' dresses. Willow was afraid to see them. She liked looking pretty, but even if - miraculously - Anya had picked out nice-looking dresses, she didn't like getting //that// dressed up. And standing in front of people: still not one of her strong-suits. "Just because Buffy isn't here doesn't mean we can't do research."  
  
Anya pouted. "But, I want to make sure everything's ready for the wedding!"  
  
Giles frowned. "When is the wedding, exactly?" He refrained from saying that he hadn't gotten an invitation. Technically, he wasn't supposed to be in the States anymore.  
  
"A week," Anya stated. Giles rose his eyebrows. "Why so soon? You only got engaged . . . well, you only //announced// your engagement a few months ago."  
  
"Five!" Anya declared vehemently. "We announced it five months ago, and we've actually been engaged for almost a year. That's not soon. That is an incredibly long time! I have already wasted a year of my life waiting to marry Xander, I don't want to waste anymore!"  
  
Xander was a bit more calm when he told Giles, "She's trying to catch up with Buffy." At Giles confused look, he elaborated, "Buffy's already . . . starting a family," he said distainfully, "and Anya doesn't want to be left behind. Something to that effect."  
  
"You make it sound like a bad thing to want that," Anya sniffed.  
  
"Okay, research?" Willow interrupted the possible argument. "Remember: friend who got pregnant by a vampire? Looking for reasons 'how', or possibly 'why'."  
  
Giles dutifully picked up an older volume. He decided to send for some of his books, in the likelihood that these weren't enough. "Do you have any theories, of how this...this happened?"  
  
Willow shook her head. "Buffy's pretty sure it happened at the beginning of January, um, the..." she pulled out a small piece of paper from her purse, "the eighth of January. So we've been looking up any prophecies that happen around then. I already checked the Almanac, and it was a regular moon that night, not even full. Just, anything that catches your attention, really," she said with an apologetic shrug. It was a pretty broad category, with many books to sift through, but it was all they had. She was probably the only one really working hard at it - not that she blamed the others for being bored. But the more she worked at the mystery, the more useful she felt, and it had been such a long time since she'd felt useful, really useful. She hadn't been able to do anything to get them out of the house on Buffy's birthday - she hadn't even tried. She'd felt ashamed that she had hidden those supplies away in the attic. She had figured out that the doublemeat burgers were vegetables, but that had been negated because she'd felt Amy's magick coursing through her the entire time. The only time she'd felt really useful was when she'd found out that the Nerd Trio had been the ones to make Buffy invisible, and how many months ago had that been?  
  
Giles paused in his perusal of the book laid out in front of him. He frowned, then looked up at Willow. "Do you have Tara's phone number?"  
  
Willow frowned, but nodded. "Sure, uh, why?" she asked as she shuffled through her purse.  
  
"I think she may have some information that could be useful," he said as he took the piece of paper, then headed for the phone by the cash register. "I spoke with Buffy last night, and she told me... a few things. It's really her business, but I would like to speak to Tara about it anyway." He held a brief conversation with Tara, who agreed to come and speak with him about the research she'd done on Buffy's resurrection.  
  
"Hello, all!" Spike called jauntily as he emerged through the basement door.  
  
"Where's Buffy?" Dawn asked, thankful that Spike was there. Now she'd have an excuse to goof off. She liked doing research, but this was so //incredibly// boring.  
  
Spike shrugged as he grabbed the back of the chair beside Dawn and spun it so he could straddle it backwards. "She's probably at home, or on her way here. Said she wanted a shower." He rose an inquisitive eyebrow at Xander's dirty look. It wasn't his fault Harris couldn't handle the fact that Buffy was his. The whelp was just like that Riley bloke - he didn't understand that Buffy needed someone who wasn't normal, because she wasn't normal, and what she //needed// was someone who understood her, as well as her role as Slayer. Stupid mortal boys, anyway.  
  
The bell above the front door jingled as it opened, allowing Tara and Buffy to enter. As they made their way to the table, Buffy was saying, "...hate it! Not, y'know, the actual pregnancy thing, but the whole 'hormones changing' thing. I started crying because my loofa had a hole in it. I cry at the freakiest things, it sucks! One of these days, I'm gonna be shopping, and start crying because they don't have the cereal I want, or something."  
  
Tara nodded as she pulled an extra chair up beside Willow at the already-crowded table. A fact that wasn't lost on Willow, who let herself beam happily for a moment.  
  
Buffy stared at all her friends, looking so cozy together, and frowned, trying to find another chair. ((Great,)) she thought, feeling her chest tighten and her eyes start to burn. ((This really sucks, cryin' 'cause I don't have anyplace to sit.)) Before she started crying though, a hand latched onto her wrist and tugged. The next thing she knew, she was sitting sideways on Spike's lap, an arm wrapped around her waist to support her. She was a little too happy for the small gesture, but she didn't really care. As long as she wasn't crying! She snuggled up against Spike, twining an arm around his neck to secure herself more, then turned to her friends. "So, what's up?"  
  
Giles spoke up. "Ah, Buffy, I - had a thought. Remember what we spoke of last night, after... after Spike went out? I thought perhaps that could have something to do with your... condition." Buffy nodded, but didn't seem to make the connection he wanted. "I thought, you could fill the others in on what you had Tara do for you."  
  
Buffy nodded when she realized what he meant. He wanted everyone to know about what Tara found out about the spell done on her, but first she should explain why she'd had Tara research it. They'd ask anyway, if she didn't tell them. "Well, see, Spike found out that he could hit me--" she held up her hand when everyone looked shocked, "and //only// me. I thought I..." she swallowed, not really wanting to explain how she'd felt, before Tara had told her there was nothing wrong with her. Spike's arm tightened around her waist, giving her silent encouragement - or an apology for his part in that whole drama, she wasn't sure. She took it for both, and continued. "I thought I had come back wrong, somehow. I didn't want Willow to research it, because she'd just stopped using magic and it would be a bad idea to have her looking through all those books... and, I didn't want to tell her that I thought she'd done something wrong. So I had Tara research it for me. Turns out, it's nothing more than some cellular changes."  
  
"Cell phones?" Xander asked doubtfully.  
  
Willow caught Tara's gaze and rolled her eyes, making Tara smile as she explained, "No, cellular, like, her cells? Like I told Buffy, it's basically just like a deep, molecular tan. I mean, Spike's chip was made by scientists who didn't know anything about magic. It's no surprise really that he can hit her. But she didn't come back wrong at all. Just...different."  
  
"Now," Giles took over, "I was wondering if that could have anything to do with Buffy conceiving ... with Spike."  
  
Tara scrunched her face up doubtfully as she reviewed all the things she'd learned of the spell. Finally, she shook her head slowly but certainly. "I, I really don't think so. Because if anything, the spell would have made Buffy incapable to conceive at all, not..."  
  
Buffy waved her free arm in the air to catch their attention. "Hi, yes, I'm still in the room? Please don't act like I'm not, 'kay?" She was satisfied when Tara ducked her head in embarrassment and Giles looked down, rubbing the bridge of his nose, duly chastised.  
  
"So... that brings us back to where we've been for the last, what, two weeks?" Xander asked, he himself not even sure if he was irritated or just trying to keep the score straight.  
  
Spike dropped his head against the back of his chair, holding a hand up and making an 'o' with his thumb and forefinger. "Goose-egg."  
  
"More research?" Dawn asked helplessly. She was afraid if she had to read anymore of these dusty old books, she'd need glasses. She remembered when Spike had helped her get Giles journal, and she'd read some of it before he'd taken over. Even the books that were printed somehow looked like Giles handwriting - small and incredibly hard to decipher the letters. Who ever heard of making 's's look like 'f's, and spelling 'old' o-l-d-e? And they spelled things wrong, like color and smolder and flavor. Maybe she'd been too hasty when she'd asked to be included in the researching...  
  
  
  
  
Xander made a quick late-lunch run at about two, and they took a half-hour break to eat and chat about anything trivial. Giles told them about England, and the young woman that had answered Willow's phone call. Cynthia was actually a Watcher, who was still training. Unlike him, she was a first-generation Watcher, but had known a Slayer as a child. She had only known of her friend's alternate life after she was killed, and her death had inspired Cynthia to become a Watcher, and perhaps help some other young girl who was thrust into the strange world of vampires. He described Cynthia as being tall and somewhat willowy, with the traditional Welsh characteristics of pale skin, black hair and blue eyes. He admitted rather embarrassedly that he thought she might have a crush on him, and everyone ribbed him for it for a good five to ten minutes. And then they went back to research, munching on one of several kinds of chips or other munchy things set out on the table.  
  
It was only ten minutes past sunset when Spike decided he needed a cigarette, //right now//. He took hold of Buffy's upper arms and stood her up, then stood up himself. "I need a smoke," he said, not waiting for anyone to reply before heading for the front door. Anya glanced up from her book and called after him, "No loitering! You'll scare away the customers!" Spike's response was to flip her off.  
  
Xander sighed, watching Spike exit the shop like everyone else. "Thank god." He turned to face the others. "If he poked me one more time with that pencil, I was gonna use it on him. Right in the chest!"  
  
Buffy shook her head as she sat in the chair Spike had vacated. "He's just fidgety. I think this whole 'baby' thing is making him more nervous than me."  
  
Willow glanced over at her friend. "You know, it might be a good idea to get some books on pregnancy from the library. You and Spike could read them together even, and figure out what you might be dealing with." She gave a bright smile. "And tonight, I'll even look up some baby sites, to make the research more well-rounded."  
  
Anya glanced up from the book she wasn't really paying attention to, wanting to add her two cents. "Has anyone thought that this baby might just be because this is Buffy?" When everyone looked uncomprehendingly at her, she made a grand gesture of slamming the book shut. "I know, I haven't been part of the whole 'Scooby gang' from the very beginning, but I've heard the stories. Buffy is the first Slayer to have been killed, and yet come back - and I'm not talking by magic. Xander is very proud of bringing Buffy back when she drowned." Buffy shivered involuntarily at the mention of her drowning - she'd had a slight phobia about water ever since then - but Anya continued, unphased. "Buffy is the reason there are two Slayers in the world, where before there was only one. Giles, you're always saying how special Buffy is, how unique a girl and Slayer she is, how extraordinary--"  
  
"Anya, we get it," Xander said, saving Giles from anything more embarrassing - the older man's face was already rather pink because of the words that he had indeed said about Buffy on numerous occassions. He had never really said them around Buffy, though, for fear of her thinking him 'sappy'.  
  
Anya shrugged. "My point is, Buffy IS special - she's done all these things that no Slayer has ever done before. Made two Slayers instead of just the one. She's lived long enough to become lawfully legal. She's defeated a god!" She took a deep breath before continuing more calmly, "Has anyone considered the fact that strange things happen to Buffy all the time? Maybe it's not some mystical prophecy that made Buffy become pregnant. Maybe it's just //her//."  
  
Everyone was silent until Buffy said, "I'm not going to be insulted by that, despite how it sounds. Because she's right." She paused to set her gaze on every one of her friends, old and new. "I'm the first Slayer to tell people about being the Chosen One - which I'm not, anymore. I'm //one of// the Chosen Ones. I'm the first Slayer to go against the Council. I'm the first Slayer to stand up to the Council instead of being cowed by them. Have you ever heard of a Slayer dating a vampire? Have you ever heard of a Slayer dating //period//? And yet on my first try, I somehow find the one vampire in the whole world with a soul! I sent my lover to hell! These aren't Slayer things, they're //Buffy// things! I try to have a normal life, and the Powers make it into some big joke! 'This Slayer thinks she's special'," she imitated what she thought the Powers That Be were saying, "'We'll make her special by putting her through more trials than any other Slayer in history. See how special she feels //then//.'" The more she thought about it, the angrier she got. She and Giles had gone through the Watchers' Diaries on more than one occasion, and never once had any Slayer been through as much as she had.  
  
She was getting ready to go on a major rant, when the bell above the front door rang, signaling Spike's return. She glanced over, more to just reassure herself that he was alright - she was getting paranoid like that lately - and was surprised to see him 'escorting' another person with him. She stood up quickly, the anger from how life was treating her transferring to this man, who seemed to be in cahoots with life. "Jonathan!"  
  
To Be Continued. . . 


	13. Stopping Evil Cohorts

Disclaimer: See previous chapters  
  
Spoilers: I'm playing it safe and saying everything up through 'Older and Far Away' - plus, you know, the previous chapters of this story.  
  
Author's Notes: I'M SO FREAKIN' SORRY!! I haven't updated in so long, I don't even remember! Every time I do something else creative, writing or drawing, anything!, I think guiltily, 'I should be working on 'And Baby Makes'. But I can't! I have plotted this chapter out SO much in my head, that I'm sick of it! I know exactly what I want to happen, but I'm not entirely sure how to write it, and until I write it, I can't go on to some new challenge. But THIS is the chapter I've been waiting for almost since I started the story. I'm thinking in the next installment, you'll find out how Buffy could concieve with Spike. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with magic, and is about the only original thought in the whole story (I have so far not read any story that uses MY explanation). Also, I'm only updating because I've left you hanging for so long, but . . . the chapter isn't actually complete. It just kind of STOPS. I'm hoping after updating, and hearing what you guys think, I'll get my little rear in gear and start writing again. OK, go read the story!  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Spike nodded at Buffy's exclamation, giving Jonathan a little nudge toward the group. "Found him lurkin' outside."  
  
Jonathan frowned incredulously, turning to look at Spike. "'Lurking'? I was gonna come in here anyway!" Spike snarled at him, making Jonathan jump and scrunch his shoulders up, like he had when a bully had been about to attack him. So many things just didn't change after high school, he thought. He turned back toward the group, coming only slightly out of his scrunch when he saw the look on Buffy's face. ((She's angry. At me?)) He wouldn't discount it, considering he had been trying to outsmart her, 'get her out of the way' for when they were going to rule Sunnydale. He had to placate her, fast. "I came here for a truce!" he cried, really not wanting her to hit him. She was stronger than she looked.  
  
Buffy didn't even pause in her anger. "A truce? Wait, I've heard this one before. 'I want to help you stop my evil cohorts!' You think I'm really gonna believe you? After you tried to frame me for murder?"  
  
Spike walked up beside her, touching her shoulder to get her attention. "Luv, the last time someone wanted to 'help you stop his evil cohorts', he was tellin' the truth, remember?"  
  
Buffy frowned, knowing that he was right. He should be, after all, he had been the one calling the truce that night. She brightened slightly, realizing that even if Jonathan was telling the truth, she could still question and intimidate him. She'd been feeling kind of useless lately, since Spike didn't want her to patrol, and all they'd really been doing was research. Now it was time for a little Buffy-fun. She crossed her arms loosely over her chest, looking intimidating. "All right, Jonathan. Explain why you're calling a truce. Please."  
  
Jonathan fidgeted, then finally said, "Could-- could I tell you, privately?" He'd never really been one for the spotlight, and having everyone glare disapprovingly at him really wasn't helping.  
  
Buffy paused only briefly before nodding. "We can go into the training room." She led the way, surprised when Spike came with. Well, if Jonathan wanted to tell her something, she supposed he'd have to do it in front of Spike as well. Because, after all, they were a team. ((We are? Since when?)) But it was true. Sometime during the past few months, they had become a team. And she didn't really think it had that much to do with the baby holding them together. She was relieved to know that - and didn't dwell on why it relieved her.  
  
She shut the door behind them, then turned and leaned casually against it, looking at Jonathan. She could tell he understood the significance of her choice of spots - he wasn't leaving this room until she was satisfied.  
  
Jonathan swallowed nervously, then inhaled. He *really* didn't need a panic attack right now. "Okay, first of all - I'm sorry for all the things we did to you. See, we just wanted to take over Sunnydale--" he stopped at the look she gave him. Maybe telling her that hadn't been the best idea. He forged on, having the feeling it was gonna get worse before it got better. //If// it got better. "I know, it sounds dumb, but - anyway. We didn't mean to turn you invisible, that was an accident. An-and Katr-" he choked on the name, images of the young girl appearing in his mind as they always did. First, her anger at them when the spell wore off "You bunch of little boys, playing at being men. Well, this is not some fantasy, it's not a game, you freaks! It's rape!", and then, her lifeless body at the top of the stairs, Warren telling him "We did this - You, me, and Andrew." He was completely collected over the entire thing, coming up with the perfect way to get rid of the body, as well as 'the Slayer'. And at the end of it all, Warren and Andrew crowing triumphantly at their success, looking at him as if they expected him to be happy that they'd killed someone and tried to hurt Buffy. He'd finally figured out how he was different than Andrew and Warren, at least concerning Buffy - he knew her. She had stepped into their lives as the Slayer, reprimanding them for what they'd done. Well, she'd done that to him too - on more than one occasion! But whenever he thought of Buffy, he thought of the girl who'd stopped him from killing himself in the school clocktower, who had come to visit him afterward when no one else would, acting just like they always had and not caring. Buffy had always cared. She'd talked to him after the Popularity spell, when most people went back to ignoring him, like normal. And even before he'd even known what the Slayer was, or that there were such things as demons and hellmouths, she'd saved him. He remembered clearly that day during Career week when the policewoman had pulled a gun and started shooting. She'd taken him hostage and Buffy had saved him. It wasn't just things like that, though. When those swimmers had been bullying him on the beach, Buffy had stopped them. He'd been angry at her because she'd intervened, but he had to admit that he couldn't have stopped them himself. She wasn't just the Slayer to him - she was his friend, Buffy Summers.  
  
He took a deep breath and tried again. "Killing Katrina was an accident. But after-- afterwards, Warren decided we could kill two birds with one stone if we framed you for her murder. We thought you'd feel guilty enough to turn yourself in." He'd been the one to come up with that part of the plan, unfortunately. Of the three, he was the one who 'knew' Buffy the best. He knew her sense of honor, and had figured she wouldn't let an innocent life go unpunished, even if she'd been the one to take it.  
  
Spike and Buffy exchanged a look that Jonathan missed, too far into his own thoughts. It spoke volumes, both of them remembering when she'd gone to the police station to turn herself in, and the fight they'd gotten into.  
  
"So why are you here now, Jonathan?" Buffy finally asked. "Except for me knowing it was you three who killed Katrina and set me up - which, to tell you the truth, I'd guessed because I knew Katrina was Warren's ex - you guys still seem in pretty good shape - for being my 'arch nemeses'." She used their own term, having asked Willow what the plural of 'nemesis' was after they'd gotten home.  
  
Jonathan shrugged. "Because they think they're invincible now. I mean, the coroner ruled her death a suicide, they were going on and on about getting away with murder, and talking about--" he paused, willing himself to slow down, stay calm. "Talking about if you got wise to what happened, we could take care of you."  
  
Those quiet words bothered Buffy more than she cared to admit. In a motion she didn't think about until after she'd done it, she shifted one arm to rest over her stomach protectively. She realized that in order to stop Warren and Andrew, she needed all the help she could get, and what better help than one third of the Nerd Trio?  
  
"Alright, Jonathan, here's the deal. We've got a truce. Don't screw with me, or else." She didn't really need to bluff that much threat into her voice. She wasn't sure what she would do to him if he betrayed her, but she was certain she wouldn't have any trouble carrying it out. "You help me and my friends, and we'll keep you safe, in case the other two try to hurt you." Great, a babysitting job.  
  
Jonathan nodded eagerly, glad that she'd believed that he was sincere - which he was! He just hadn't been sure Buffy'd believe him.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Next installment, hopefully coming soon! I just wanted to say, if you're a writer, please sign your reviews, because I love reading other people's fics, and I guarantee I'll review at least one of them. Also, if you want some pseudo-spoilers for this story, as well as other Buffy story ideas from me, visit http://silver-faery.diaryland.com/ , my little on-line diary. I've got at least three entries on story ideas, and at least one of those is for future chapters of this story. Thanks! Have fun! 


	14. Biology Lessons

Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me -- they all belong to Joss Whedon, and anyone else who's paid to play with them. I'm not one of those people, so please don't sue me.

A/N: Okay - sorry this has taken _so_ long!! Aah! But see, this chapter is what I have been envisioning ever since I _started_ this story -- and I kind of overkilled it in my mind, so that when it was time to write it, I didn't know how I was going to do it. I think this is up to the same standard as my other chapters, but... PLEASE tell me what you think -- this chapter, even more than the others, was hard to write, and I want to know if it holds up to the rest of the story.

Slight Warning: Like the title says, this is sort of a biology lesson -- so be warned, reproductive systems are talked about. And Spike makes one rather tasteless comment, so... But you knew Spike was sorta dirty-minded anyway, right?

* * *

Buffy lay on her back in bed, staring up at her blank, off-white ceiling, blanket clutched to her chest. What was she doing, agreeing to give Jonathan sanctuary? What if Warren and Andrew decided to come 'retrieve' him, maybe stop him from talking? How was she supposed to stop them? She couldn't kill them; they were humans. But she didn't want them to come after her friends or Dawn, in an attempt at ransom, or some other mundane villain-y idea they might have.

According to Jonathan, he did magic, Warren made any electronic devices - example: Invisibility gun - and Andrew summoned demons. They may not have Jonathan working with them, but just because they didn't use magic didn't make them any less dangerous; on the contrary, that made them even more dangerous - magic they could counteract, but demons were concrete, and had to be fought physically - and usually by her and Spike. And if they used the Invisibility gun, or Freeze ray gun again - or made a new one! - there really was no way to counteract it, until it had already been used. It was just a big waiting game. They _had_ to wait until the Duo made their move, and only then could they make their own - and even then, they had to counteract whatever the two threw at them from scratch. It just wasn't a good thing. 

A rapping came at her window, and she rolled over to see Spike peering in at her, a rakish grin on his face. She felt a smile tugging at her lips, for once glad for the distraction of this. She got up and unlocked the window, sliding it up so he could crawl through.

Now that everyone knew about them, she supposed they had to find other ways to 'live dangerously' - and what better way to do that than have sex in her bedroom, while there were several people sleeping in rooms connected to her own? Buffy grinned.

Life was actually starting to look up.

* * *

The next day was a Sunday. After some confusion due to Buffy wanting Dawn to get ready for school, Buffy, Dawn, Willow and Jonathan all made their way to the Magic Box. Buffy still wasn't entirely sure about the whole 'Jonathan' thing, but she'd told him she'd keep him safe, which pretty much meant she couldn't leave him alone. Since Warren and Andrew weren't vampires, her house wasn't safe, and neither was just standing out in the sun. Vampires were so much easier to deal with than humans. Well, anonymous vampires. Some vampires, who would remain named Spike, were a hell of a lot harder to deal with.

After their night of quiet-but-reckless passion, Spike had left a little before sunrise, telling her he'd see her at the magic shop for their daily dose of useless research. She tended to agree with him – they'd been researching the weirdness that was Buffy's pregnancy for almost three weeks solid, and had found nothing. Most slayers didn't even live long enough to get married – and why would they get married, if all they did was fight vampires? She was the only one they'd found who'd tried to have more than a superfluous social life, let alone a romantic relationship.

Huh. She was in a romantic relationship. With Spike. Out in the open, even. And despite the road bumps they'd encountered when she first told her friends about it, they were doing remarkably well – for him loving her unrequitedly. Even that part of their relationship had changed, a little. Since she was 'allowed' to interact peaceably with Spike in front of her friends now, and it was even encouraged (since they were under the impression she loved him), she found herself actually relaxing around him, at least a little. She was content. It sort of bothered her. But what worried her was the fact that she wasn't more bothered by it. It felt so. . . natural, and part of her was scared because of it. But mostly, she tried not to think about it.

Jonathan was silent as the group made it's way to the Magic Box, not really knowing what to do. He'd heard Buffy and Willow talking about research, but he didn't know what they were researching, and he really didn't think they'd want his help, anyway. He didn't blame them, either - they were right not to trust him. He'd been plotting against Buffy and her friends with two other psychopaths who turned out to be murderers. Or at the very least, morons. And he was one too, by association if nothing else. He was so _dumb!_ _Wanna take over Sunnydale? Okay._ Idiot.

Spike was already there when they arrived, sitting casually at the round table, somehow finding a shady spot to sit, even with the front window letting light in all around him. He looked innocent enough, but the glare Xander was giving him said otherwise. Despite not even remotely liking Spike, Xander had tried to keep the anger to a minimum around the vampire, unless he did something to antagonize the young man.

Anya was putting some books away on the shelf, while Giles was just checking out a customer. After he'd left, the Watcher sank down into a chair beside Spike.

"Do we have to read through more books?" Dawn asked hopelessly, staring at the large pile of old books piled in the middle of the table.

Giles was about to answer her, when he noticed Jonathan hanging back behind the others. "Uh, Buffy?" he motioned Buffy over beside him. "What are you going to do about Jonathan?" he whispered.

Buffy frowned. "What do you mean? I'm gonna protect him from the other two."

Giles nodded, but elaborated, "I mean, while we're researching? He's bound to find out what's going on… with you, if he's aloud to listen in."

Buffy frowned at that. Giles was right, of course, but she wasn't sure what she should do about it. She had to be around Jonathan, but she really should help with the research.

Jonathan, already feeling slightly uncomfortable, noticed Buffy eyeing him and said, "Hey, I get it. You don't trust me. That's... well, not cool, but... I get that. I'll go sit in that back room and wait, I guess."

Buffy sighed. What was she thinking? He may have been a part of some horrible things the Trio had done to her, but... he was still Jonathan. She _knew_ him. He wasn't some sleaze like Warren, who made a sexbot for himself, or some... well, she didn't really know anything about the other one, Andrew, but if he was anything like his brother Tucker, he was unstable to say the least. But this was _Jonathan_! The guy she'd saved from killing himself in the school's clocktower! The guy who, granted, cast a spell to make himself uber-cool and created a magical monster with the spell -- but when he'd found out the monster was linked to him, he'd ultimately chosen to do the right thing and give up his popularity, instead of staying perfect and letting the monster massacre people.

This was Jonathan. The guy who'd given her her _'Class Protector'_ award at Prom. Jonathan. She trusted Jonathan. Even when he did something incredibly stupid, in the end -- he always did the right thing.

Buffy sighed. She was gonna have to tell yet another person that she was pregnant. By a vampire. And with him, she'd have to explain how that was impossible. And no matter how many times she told it, it never got any easier. "Jonathan... There's something I'm gonna tell you, and it's gonna be weird, but..."

* * *

Jonathan frowned after Buffy explained what was going on. "So, let me get this straight... you and Spike slept together... and now you're pregnant, but that's not possible, because he's a vampire. So you're trying to figure out how it _is_ possible... right?" The others nodded.

"See," Willow began to explain, "we really don't know what happened, but, this being Sunnydale and all... Well, we really don't know what we're looking for. Not a demon, which is really our strong-suit. We don't think it had anything to do with a spell, or the moon, or anything like that. But that doesn't leave us with a whole lot of other options. I mean, other than being invisible when it happened, there really wasn't anything weird--"

"Wait," Jonathan said, looking at Willow sharply. He turned to look at Buffy. "You were invisible?"

Buffy's eyes widened when she nodded. "Yeah, but... that shouldn't have done anything... right?"

Jonathan wiped a hand over his mouth, staring off into space as he thought frantically. "I... I don't know. Warren said something about... See, Andrew and me were fighting over the gun when it went off, so it wasn't a controlled blast that hit you. It was a, what'd Warren call it? A 'major dose of radiation', that caused your molecules to speed up. I mean, until you were turned visible again, you were like Spiderman, or something." He ran a hand through his hair agitatedly. He seemed to be talking more to himself now than the others, but they listened anyway, trying to follow his thinking. "Even if, if Spike was sterile, or the equivalent, anything that entered your body would have been affected by the radiation..."

Spike had a look on his face that was a cross between confused and worried. "Now, when you say 'entered'..."

Xander groaned and slammed his head down on the table. Spike rose an eyebrow at the display.

Jonathan didn't pay either of them any attention, running through the scenario rapidly. "Of course, the radiation was cancelled out when you became visible, but if the egg was already fertilized..."

"Of course!" Willow cried excitedly. Buffy looked at her in confusion. "Of course?"

Willow nodded to her, then looked back at Jonathan. "The radiation caused the sperm cells to mutate, becoming fertile. They would have become sterile again when she became visible, but if one of her eggs was fertilized _before_ she became visible again, then there's no sperm to become sterile -- it's already part of Buffy, and no longer a foreign object!" She looked like she'd just figured out a very complex math equation -- in a way, it was, since they'd been working on this for three weeks now.

Her mood was dampened when Xander groaned and said, his voice muffled by the table, "Please stop talking about eggs and sperm! It's bad enough I know they're having sex!"

This made almost everyone blush, realizing they weren't talking about random biology, but Buffy and Spike's biology.

It was Anya who came to the rescue, clearing her throat and smiling happily at everyone. "Well! Now that _that's_ figured out, I can go back to planning the wedding!"


End file.
